She's a character, she has opinions.

Illness stole my dream job away. #spoonie

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If your health didn’t stand in the way, if money were no object and you didn’t need to go back school to get more education or training, what job would you have? (Question of the week from Selena at Oh My Aches and Pains!)

I’m an activist. I was well on my way to making what was amateur into professional. I was getting the degree. I was working part-time in the field. I was making connections. It was all there, just at the tip of my fingertips. Now, no matter how I stretch, I can’t reach it. If I can’t get out of bed on some days, if I can’t stay awake or upright for more than a few hours, then I can’t work this or any other job. But I want to, oh, how I want to.

To be honest with you, though, right now I’d work retail again if it meant I was well enough to work and bring home a paycheck. That’s right, I’d strap on the comfy shoes and smile at the worst customer ever if only I could. And I’d do it happily.

Sometimes I don’t think people understand that. It must be so nice, they say sarcastically, to stay home all day long. I’m sure it would be, were I both well and wealthy. But it isn’t particularly nice to have to stay home because of illness and disability. It’s painful, angering, and kind of boring. And it’s even less nice to watch your money trickle away on medical expenses and know you can’t bring any more in.

I was going to have my dream job. Now I’m not. And it sucks.


Written by tldegray

February 2, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Posted in Chronic Illness, Health

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