She's a character, she has opinions.

Back to reality.

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Did you ever go on a vacation and when you got home at the end of it think “back to reality”? Yeah, me too. At least I used to. Now I just envy those of you who can truly get away from it all.

I would give almost anything to get away from my reality. Sure, I can take a vacation, but that isn’t going to help since the reality I need to get away from is my own body. No matter what I do or where I go, I’ll still have CFIDS. I can’t leave it at home like you do most of your stressors when you go on vacation, it’s going to follow me wherever I go.

Sometimes I get the impression that people think it must be wonderful to stay at home as often as I do, to recline in bed on a stack of pillows and just do nothing. I think it must be, too, if that’s really all you’re doing. But I’m lying here on my pillows with my whole body aching and feeling so tired I could cry. I’m desperate to find a way to finish my homework and I already know I’ve no energy to make dinner. To be honest with you, I should just call an end to the entire day and go to bed.

Boy, I said to myself earlier today when I realized how stressed I was, I could use a vacation. I could. But until they come up with Total Recall style virtual vacations I’m just going to have to take my reality on vacation along with me.


Written by tldegray

September 30, 2010 at 4:00 pm

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