She's a character, she has opinions.

Planning for chronic illness’ ups and downs.

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A healthy person can “push” himself or herself even when tired or even sick. But someone dealing with an illness cannot “push” anything without dealing with the consequences if they can even “push” at all.

I think what makes it truly confusing for those surrounding me or anyone living with a chronic illness, is that there are days when you feel like you could run a marathon. I look great, I have a smile on and I do more than most! Then as quickly as the energy came, it leaves in a flash, and you are left with nothing. You are completely depleted of any ounce of energy you had and are left with pain in its place. It is like living two separate lives, and it is so hard to plan your life according to an unknown schedule. You need to learn to accept help, even when you don’t want it. You have to learn to always have a plan B, and be prepared for the worst, while remaining positive and hoping for the best. It’s a difficult balancing act.

[My Roulette Kind of Life]

 

I was thinking about leading this kind of life as I looked over my Facebook Events this morning. All my answers are “maybe” because I just can’t make promises. I never know from day to day how I’ll be feeling.

Luckily, for the most part, my friends and family understand this. But even with that understanding it’s still difficult for me to have to say maybe. I wish I could commit to things in advance and keep those commitments. I want to do things. I want to attend every class and be the life of every party but some days I just can’t.

It’s just as hard for me to understand as it is for those with their healthy perspective who are looking in from the outside.

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Written by tldegray

June 13, 2010 at 12:37 am

Posted in Chronic Illness, Health

Tagged with ,

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