Johannes Cabal

Johannes Cabal the Necromancer by Jonathan L. Howard
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Johannes Cabal is a douche. Yep, that’s right, a douche. He lies, cheats, steals, murders, and does it all without remorse, putting his end goal above all morality. And now he has a problem, because he sold his useless–so he thought–soul to Satan and without it he just can’t seem to perfect his experiments. So the brilliant Johannes Cabal makes a deal with Satan to get his soul back. All he has to do is get a bunch of other souls to take its place and Satan’s going to help him do that…with a traveling carnival staffed by Cabal’s own handmade zombies and run by his grudge-holding vampire brother.

Johannes is a terrible person, he truly is, but somehow he’s learning and changing. Not a lot, but enough to make reading his story entertaining. He remains a pompous ass, vexed by the stupidity of the world around him, challenged only by a man of great morality. And his daughter.

Johannes Cabal the Necromancer was a fun and fast read that left me eager to dive in to the sequel.

Buy from Amazon.com: Johannes Cabal the Necromancer

Johannes Cabal the Detective by Jonathan L. Howard
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

No big surprise that this book opens with Johannes Cabal locked in some deep, dark dungeon awaiting his death. Even Cabal doesn’t seem surprised of that. Nor is he surprised when he’s taken out of his dungeon and forced to reanimate the dead leader of a small country so they can incite a war with their neighbors. Cabal’s trickery and wit enable him to escape and then the real fun begins.

Impersonating a low-level bureaucrat, he stows away on an airship and somehow ends up in the center of a classic locked-room mystery and embroiled in politics. And he isn’t alone, Leonie Barrows, the woman who so challenged him in Johannes Cabal the Necromancer is onboard ship and insisting upon turning him over to the authorities at the earliest possible time.

He’s still the same old pompous Cabal we love to hate but for some reason, one even he doesn’t understand, he keeps coming back to save the day. I certainly hope there will be another book and another chance to be entertained by Jonathan Cabal.

Buy from Amazon.com: Johannes Cabal the Detective

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Questions you might ask about surgery or a procedure

1. When do I check in to the hospital and where?
2. What can I expect to happen before the surgery or procedure?
3. How long will the procedure take?
4. Can my family go with me?
5. What effects will the procedure have on me in the short and long term?
6. What is the doctor’s experience in performing the procedure?
7. What medications will be given to me?
8. How long will I have to rest at home after the procedure?

[Dr. QuickCheck Report]

Questions you might ask about diagnostic tests or procedures

1. Why is this test necessary?
2. What will happen if I do not have the test?
3. Are there any risks involved?
4. Will it hurt? If so is there anything I can do to lessen the pain?
5. Can the doctor perform the test in the office or will I have to go to the hospital or the laboratory?
6. Is there any preparation for the test?
7. What are the side effects of the test?
8. What changes or effects should I report to the doctor?
9. Who will call me with the results of this test?
10. How long will it take for me to get the results?

[Dr. QuickCheck Report]

Questions you might ask relating to illness or symptom(s)

1. What’s wrong with me?
2. Can you draw a picture or show me what is wrong?
3. What causes this kind of problem?
4. Can I give this illness to someone else, and if so, how and for what period of time can I pass this on?
5. Are there any activities or foods which I should avoid?
6. When can I return to work or school?
7. What is the long-term prognosis of my condition?
8. How can I prevent this from happening again?
9. How will this problem affect me in the future?
10. What will happen if I don’t treat my condition right away?
11. What treatment should I follow, including dietary, medical treatment, and lifestyle changes?
12. When do I need to see the doctor again?
13. Where can I get more information about my condition?

[Dr. QuickCheck Report]

Questions you might ask about medications that are prescribed to you

1. What is the name of the medication?
2. Why do I need this particular medication?
3. How and when should I take this medication?
4. How long should I take the medication?
5. What are the possible side effects of this medication?
6. Is this medication safe to take with other medications I am taking?
7. What do I do if side effects occur?
8. How often will I need to get the medication refilled?
9. How will I know if the medication is working?
10. What are the risks of not taking the medication?
11. Is this a brand name or generic name?
12. Are there less expensive medications for my condition?

[Dr. QuickCheck Report]

Mental illness: It’s funny and trendy!

The Oak Bar in New York’s Plaza Hotel has a brand new drink for you to try. Well, it isn’t brand new, it’s a Gibson (a cocktail made with gin and vermouth) but they still want you to try it. Oh, here, I’ll let the Oak Bar’s Executive Chef tell you about the “Mel Gibson, a Bipolar Cocktail” in his own words: “Gibson … Bipolar … All these words flying around in the media just jumped out at me. So I made a Gibson, which is a classic cocktail, into something thoroughly twisted.” He did that by adding Van Gogh Vodka to the cocktail, in honor of the mentally ill artist who may have shared bipolar disorder with Gibson. [Source]

Hilarious.

Wait, no, that isn’t the word I want to use. What’s the word? Oh, yeah: Offensive.

Bipolar disorder is a very serious mental illness. The Mayo Clinic calls it a “disruptive, long-term condition” and notes that at its worst “manic episodes can be severe and dangerous.” It’s a disease, like any other, and can cause serious harm to the person who has it, up to and including suicide. It is not, however, something amusing or cool to base a cocktail on.

Then there’s those pesky allegations against Gibson of domestic violence and racism. Let’s just forget about those while we kick back with our cocktail. We’ll laugh, have a good time, mock the mentally ill and forget about violence and racism all at the same time. It’ll be hilarious.

Botox me until I look like the teen I am.

18 year old singer Charice Pempengco says she prepared for her upcoming role in Glee by getting Botox and Thermage, an anti-aging, skin-tightening procedure. [Source]

If you’re wondering why a teenager would need to look younger in order to play a teenager, Pempengco has an answer for you, and it’s all about competing with other women on the field of beauty: “All people will be anticipating how will Charice look? Is she good enough to pit against Rachel Berry? So of course there is tremendous pressure.” Not a great answer, is it? But you can certainly look around our society and see where she came up with it.

Frequently I find myself wondering when we as a society will realize we’ve gone too far. Obviously today is not that day, and tomorrow isn’t looking so great either.

A #spoonie lunch invitation.

I received the best gift today. A chronically ill friend invited chronically ill me to lunch at a future date, saying as she did that she knew it was possible that neither one of us would have the spoons (energy/physical health and well-being) to go through with it. Spoonies out there know what I’m talking about when I say what a fantastic gift that invitation was.

Invitations for social activities come with such pressure attached to them. How do I explain that I might not be able to go, no matter how much I want to? How do I make my friends understand that my health is so variable that I can’t give them a definitive answer? How do I make it so neither they nor I end up with a confusing mess of hurt feelings? I always explain, my friends always try to understand, but knowing right up front that I didn’t have to explain because the person extending the invitation already understood (and knew I understood the same about her) is something I will treasure for a very long time, whether or not we actually do get to have that lunch.

Medical marijuana for nerve pain.

A new compound similar to the active component of marijuana (cannabis) might provide effective pain relief without the mental and physical side effects of cannabis, according to a study in the July issue of Anesthesia & Analgesia, official journal of the International Anesthesia Research Society (IARS).

[Source]

 

The reason why this is so great, is that the drugs commonly prescribed for nerve pain are not primarily made to deal with nerve pain (they are anti-convulsants and anti-depressants) or have debilitating side-effects (chronic fatigue, brain fog, and addiction in the case of opiates). To have a drug that treats your pain without any of those side-effects would be wonderful.

Here’s hoping this is another step in the direction of medical marijuana for all who need it.

Chasing the migraine pain.

Sometimes I read about people who won’t take medications. They don’t believe in ibuprofen or acetaminophen, maybe they don’t believe in diphenhydramine or pseudoephedrine. They prefer to brew up a cup of tea or hold a homeopathic remedy under their tongue when they have aches, pains, allergies, or colds. And lest I sound as judgmental as some of them do, I don’t think there is a “right way” just a “right way for you.”

In a way, I envy those people. Today I didn’t want to take ibuprofen and lie down. I wanted to function. I wanted to tough it out and be “like everyone else.” You see my mistake there? There is no like everyone else, there is just like me. And I really needed to take that medication because today was baby’s first migraine with vomiting because of extreme pain.

By the time I fully realized what I was in for, it was too late. I took the medicine anyway and lay down. It felt like my brain was swelling and bumping against the inside of my skull in some sort of maniacal symphony. It’s okay, I told myself, you’ll get through this, you always do. But today, with the pain from my post-herpetic neuralgia throbbing in my arm and hand, and the stress of the last few weeks percolating in my system, I didn’t get through it. When the queasy feeling hit, I tried to ignore it because it never, never turns into anything. Except for how today it did.

You’re all right, the pain really does lessen after you vomit. Not a lot, not enough to make me feel better, but enough so that I eventually fell asleep with a cold cloth clutched to my brow. Twelve hours later and I’m still in pain, but at least now my eyes can focus and I’ve managed to rehydrate my system. I’m hoping–praying–that this migraine runs its course quickly, but in all honesty I’m doubting it will. I’m worried I’m in for days of a migraine hangover once the pain finally goes away.

I really, really should have taken that medicine this morning when I first felt the pain coming on. I know better than this. I know that having constant pain makes other pain worse and I know that if I don’t take medicine right away I’m going to spend the next few days chasing the pain. I know all this and I still screwed up. It’s been a rough day.

So I envy those people who won’t take medicine. I envy that they don’t have to.